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Manners Through the Ages

Manners, as a concept, has seen significant shifts and changes over time. The evolution of manners and the weight societies have given to them over time, can be viewed as a reflection of societal changes, cultural shifts and technological advancements.

Mediaeval Manners

In mediaeval England, manners were largely influenced by chivalry and the feudal system. The phrase "Manners maketh man" was often used, implying that courtesy and etiquette were seen as a mark of nobility and good character. However, these manners were largely restricted to the aristocracy, with less importance placed on proper behaviour among the lower classes. According to historian Paul Freedman, "Manners were a kind of code that governed behaviour and defined one's place in society."

Religion played an integral role in shaping mediaeval manners. Christianity, which was predominant during this period, emphasised humility, self-discipline, and respect for others – qualities that were reflected in the codes of conduct. For example, the virtue of temperance led to the practice of avoiding overindulgence at meals.

18th Century Etiquette

Etiquette in the 18th century was not just a set of random rules; it was a reflection of societal values and norms. In an era defined by class hierarchy, etiquette served as a marker of social status and education. These unwritten rules governed everything from table manners to fashion, making etiquette an essential part of social interaction.

One cannot discuss 18th-century etiquette without mentioning table manners. Dining etiquette dictated not only how one ate but also how food was served and presented. Meals were grand affairs, with numerous courses served simultaneously on the table. Eating was done systematically from outer plates and bowls towards the centre, while napkins were used solely for cleaning hands and not for wiping mouths.

Social interactions were governed by a myriad of unwritten rules. People were expected to behave with decorum and politeness at all times, avoiding vulgarity or any form of disrespect. The practice of 'calling' or visiting friends and acquaintances at specific times showcased one's respect for others' schedules. Conducting oneself gracefully during these visits was an important part of social etiquette.

Victorian Virtues

In the 19th century, during the reign of Queen Victoria, a strict code of manners and etiquette shaped social relations. In daily life, Victorian manners were omnipresent and governed every aspect of behaviour. From the simple act of entering a room to elaborate dinner rituals, every action had its prescribed conventions. Sir Walter Raleigh aptly stated that "the smallest details of behaviour were scrupulously regulated". For example, men were expected to tip their hats when passing ladies on the street and ladies had to master the art of fan language.

The rules for women were particularly stringent. Their behaviour, speech, and even clothing were governed by a rigid societal code. A woman’s primary role was to reflect her family’s status through her impeccable manners and refined demeanour.

The enforcement of Victorian’s elaborate rules of etiquette often served to expose societal inequalities rather than foster respect. As historian Judith Flanders noted: "The labyrinthine complexity of Victorian manners often served as a barrier rather than a bridge".

Post-War Paradigm Shift

World War II had a profound influence on societies around the globe. It was a time of immense hardship and upheaval, leading to a reevaluation of many pre-existing social norms. The necessity for women to take on roles previously occupied by men who were out at war led to a significant shift in gender dynamics, which in turn influenced manners and etiquette. Scholar, Dr. Jane Goodall noted, "The war years fundamentally altered societal expectations, leading to a paradigm shift in manners and behaviour."

One of the most notable changes was in gender dynamics. Before the war, women were often expected to be submissive and deferential. However, their contributions during the war led to a greater appreciation for their skills and capabilities. As historian Professor Elizabeth Clark observes, "The war effort expanded societal perceptions about what women could achieve outside traditional roles, leading to lasting changes in manners." This shift saw women being treated with greater respect and equality, altering the protocols of interaction between genders.

Another significant area where manners evolved was in relation to class distinctions. The collective suffering experienced during the war blurred class lines and created a sense of unity among people. There was an increased emphasis on solidarity and mutual respect, regardless of social standing. As economist Dr. John Keynes pointed out, "Post-war society witnessed a decline in snobbishness and an increase in egalitarianism."

Modern Manners: Digital Dilemma

Just about thirty years ago, manners were primarily dictated by face-to-face interactions. Politeness was often associated with gestures like holding doors open, making eye contact during conversations, or writing thank-you notes. Respect for personal space and privacy was highly valued, while interruptions during conversations were deemed impolite. This etiquette was reflective of the prevalent communication methods - landline telephones and postal letters.

With the onset of smartphones at the turn of the century, manners underwent yet another revolution. These devices, laden with features like texting, social media platforms, video calling, etc., brought forth new etiquettes. Texting while with company became commonplace, albeit contentious in terms of its acceptance as polite behaviour. The use of emojis emerged as a new language to convey emotions subtly. The blurring boundaries between personal and professional lives have led to 24/7 availability becoming an unwritten rule.

Opposing Views on Manners

Leading sociologists argue that while manners have indeed changed over time, they haven't necessarily deteriorated. To quote Professor James Goffman from Oxford University, "The forms have changed but not the essence; respect for others is still at the heart of all manners." However, critics like Elizabeth Post argue that modern technology has led to "an erosion of genuine social interaction and respect."